DAY 9: WONDERLAND SPORTS

SONG: FIGHTING FOR THE HEDGEHOG

You’re late.

You’re not even trying now are you?

Never mind.

Just keep up.

You’d say, “There are no sports in Wonderland.” You would, and you’d be wrong. Team W is teaming with teams. It’s really one of the most sportingist of sports places you’d ever hope to find down any given rabbit hole.

Okay, fine. Other than a crazy bunch of animals running in a circle to dry off, or that weepy Mock Turtle and his Lobster Quadrille, there ain’t much going on in the way of sports.

But, that’s not entirely true.

We’re big on cards down here, and I’m pretty sure POKER is now an Olympic Sport. And nobody, and I mean nobody, beats Team W when it comes to CROQUET.

No, not those little pieces of dry bread they put on top of your salad. Croquet! That crazy love child of golf, bocce and cans of brightly colored paint. The game that has everyone trampling on your freshly mowed lawn and breaking your garden gnomes while saying, “Oh, I didn’t mean to hit it that hard.”

They totally knew what they were doing.

DON’T SCREW WITH
THE GARDEN GNOMES!

I need a moment.
Listen to Fighting For The Hedgehog.
The red mallet is mine!

♡ Play Me

♡ Read Me

Fighting For The Hedgehog
Music + Lyrics by Kevin Saunders Hayes

Filling up all the space in between
Got the speakers in the truck playing peaches and cream
Got a ten percent off she’s trying to redeem
Gotta part-time job and cigarette
You know what I mean

Hey now you’re look is irresistible
But the rule you’re trying to break
Yeah it’s really not admissible (permissible)
Invincible
Predictable

Hey, maybe would you think it’s seems okay
To stay
No way
Maybe someday

Hey, maybe you could think of just one way
Okay
Just maybe
Maybe someday

Hey hey hey hey
We’ll take it slower
Hey hey hey hey
That right
Hey hey hey hey
Just think it over
Hey hey hey hey
Alright

Filling up all the space in between
Got the speakers in the truck playing peaches and cream
Got a ten percent off she’s trying to redeem
Gotta part-time job and cigarette
You know what I mean

Hey, maybe would you think it’s seems okay
To stay
No way
Maybe someday

Hey, maybe you could think of just one way
Okay
Just maybe
Maybe someday

Hey hey hey hey
We’ll take it slower
Hey hey hey hey
That right
Hey hey hey hey
Just think it over
Hey hey hey hey
Alright

THE HISTORY OF CROQUET

Croquet was first played with hoops made of willow rods and mallets made of broomsticks in Ireland around 1850, and believed to originate from a French game called Pall Mall. And if you’re really having trouble sleeping check out this website.

And… there are nine (count ‘em 9!?) variants recognized by the World Croquet Federation (there’s a Federation!?). And believe it or not there are actually rules.

BREAKING GARDEN GNOMES IS NOT ONE OF THEM !

TODAY @ THE CLUB HOUSE

You have to have a buddy to enter today’s Croquet Championship at the Club House. Please be kind to the garden gnomes. They’re on loan..

Go get a buddy. And wack away.

OKAY, THAT’S IT FOR TODAY. MEET BACK HERE TOMORROW. At the same time. DON’T BE LATE. WE HAVE A SCHEDULE.

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