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Day 1: Surviving the Fall

Song: Advice from a Rabbit

 

GUIDE BOOK

✧ You’re Late

I don’t wanna hear it.
Just keep up.

We got a schedule.

✧ Please…

stop crying

Fine…

Over the next 13 days, you’re gonna get all the Wonderland dirt.

We’re gonna expose all the Wonder-hood dirty laundry, all the juicy who hates who, who’s dating who kinda sordid details.

 

GUIDE BOOK

✧ Okay…

This here’s The Ultimate AliƧin Wonderland Tour

Blah, blah, blah… Look, you signed up for this thing, so if you don’t know what it is, that’s on you…

✧ All ya

gotta do…

…is survive the fall.

9.82 m / s2

For objects near the surface of the earth, the graviation acceleration (g) is a constant and equal to 9.8 meters per second squared. The velocity (V) is then equal to the acceleration (g) times the time. (The change in velocity from one time to another is acceleration (g) times the difference in time).

For a first time jump, I have to admit

there’s some pretty solid technique

going on here.

 

The launch was a little

less than graceful, but she talks to

herself to pass the time,

almost grabs a cup of tea, and

plays the bass as she desends.

 

Most importantly, she bends her knees

on the landing.

Bend The Knees People

✧ Now..

I’m not saying the tour’s
dangerous or anything…

…but on the bright side,
1) if you don’t get hopelessly lost or
2) choke to death on a lump of sugar…

You’re going to become an

Ultimate AliƧin Wonderland Tour Guide!

Complete with your very own

Certificate.

✧ I know, it’s a lot.

Take a minute.

Look at your Guide Book.
Listen to today’s song,

ADVICE FROM A RABBIT.

It’ll help.

Well… it can’t hurt.

✧  Got your Guide Book?

Seriously!?
Go get your Guide Book. NOW ! Yes, this is the button to download your Guide Book.

Do I really have to write ‘PUSH ME’ on it?

✧  Play Me

✧ Read Me

Advice From a Rabbit
Music + Lyrics by Kevin Saunders Hayes

If I told you, sure you might act crazy, but don’t trust the cat
If I told you that that creepy hookah dude is smoking crack
And that twinkle twinkle little bat will get you wondering where you be at

If I told you in a tea cup party you move to the right
If I told you that the Queen will loose it if you’re wearing white
If I told you never trust a cat, he’ll aways lie, although he’s polite

It’s a dream, it’s a freaking illusion
It’s a dream it’s a yeah
It’s dream and it’s always confusing
It’s a dream it’s a yeah, yeah

If I told you eating all that cake will only make you fat
And I told you that that tiny bottle takes like sewer rat
If I told never take advice especially if it comes from a cat

It’s a dream, it’s a freaking illusion
It’s a dream it’s a yeah
It’s dream and it’s always confusing
It’s a dream it’s a yeah, yeah

I know it’s time to wake up, wake up, wake up
I know that I could make up, make up, make up another kinda rhyme
Wake up, wake up, wake up
I know it’s time to face up, face up, face up
Face up Face up

I’m running out of time

It’s a dream, it’s a freaking illusion
It’s a dream it’s a yeah
It’s dream and it’s always confusing
It’s a dream it’s a yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

I know it’s time to wake up, wake up, wake up
I know that I could make up, make up, make up another kinda rhyme
Wake up, wake up, wake up
I know it’s time to face up, face up, face up
Face up Face up

I’m running out of time

The 10 Rules of Wonderland

Rule #1

If you’re here, you’re probably a little crazy. Okay, probably a lot crazy (especially you. I got my eye on you).

Rule #2

Never talk to the cat.

Rule #3

Don’t smoke with The Hookah Dude. He’s totally smoking something illegal. Don’t get all weepy on me. With all the 60’s psychedelic rock he’s blasting over there and lava lamps and…
come on, what the hell did you think was happening?

Rule #4

Do not trust the cat.

Rule #5

At the tea cup party always move to the right.

RIGHT. No, your other right…
…never mind.

Rule #6

White is *not* a good color in the Wonder-hood. Please check your style guide in APPENDIX XX of your manual. The preferred Wonderland color is RED.

No, hold the book the other way. Turn it around. Okay, you… you wear white.

Rule #7

The cat is always polite, but he’s a lying little bastard.

Rule #8

Eat Me Cake is fattening. The amount of sugar in one piece is just staggering. Diabetics, this is a hard “no”.

Rule #9

The Drink Me Juice bottle is very attractive. And sure, getting small is cool, but… that stuff tastes like crap. More specifically like rat cr… never mind. It tastes really, really bad.

Rule #10

Cat advice is the absolute worst advice you can ever take. Do not listen to a damn thing he says!

You’ve been warned.

Everybody here? Good… keep up!

Today @ The Club House

Sure… it can be the tiniest bit dangerous in the Wonder-hood, so that’s why we encourage THE BUDDY SYSTEM.

Get a buddy. Get two! Can’t hurt and remember… you don’t have to be faster than whatever’s chasing you. You just have to be faster than your buddy.

Go to THE CLUB HOUSE and grab a buddy.

They’re expecting you.

That’s it for today…

Meet back here tomorrow. AT THE SAME TIME. Don’t be late. We gotta schedule.

Be sure to leave yourself plenty of time to get down the rabbit hole. And bring a snack!

Now go already, AND DON’T BE LATE !

What are you standing around for? Go get a Buddy!

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