Ist das Ihr Maschinenmensch? It’s a question you’re gonna hear more and more. As you’ve probably noticed, there are a LOT of Evil Robots running around these days and it’s only fair to ask who the hell they belong to.

It’s hard to tell sometimes.

Metropolis director Fritz Lang figured out how to do it. He made his leading lady Brigitte Helm dress up in a robot costume. It apparently was extremely uncomfortable. I mean look at it. It’s evil and sleekly contoured in all the right places, but for 16 hours a day?

Yeah, Brigitte got cuts and bruises, but Lang basically insisted she wear the costume all day instead of her stunt double. The shot for the transformation scene took so long that Helm actually fainted because she couldn’t get enough air.

And… btw, you can see the transformation scene with really cool music in Vox Lumiere Metropolis which is performing ONLY 4 SHOWS in Los Angeles and tickets are selling fast and you should get yours like… now!

So who’s your Maschinenmensch? C-3PO from Star Wars? Total rip off. I can’t believe there hasn’t been some behind the scenes lawsuit from the Lang estate looking for a piece of the robot merchandising.

Speaking of merchandise. Did I mention we have some awesome Metropolis merchandise? That’s so not like me.

Well we do. Have Metropolis merchandise that is. A two CD Metropolis Soundtrack, an insanely cool Metropolis T-shirt, a Metropolis Sticker and a Temporary Tattoo you can stick anywhere (come on… you’re creative).

But before I get sidetracked and launch into my Powerpoint presentation on why you should avail yourself of all this one-of-a-kind Evil Robot merchandise that helps support the artists you know and love, let’s get back to the question at hand.

Another way to know “Ist das Ihr Maschinenmensch”, is to give your robot a name. The robot in Metropolis has a name. Actually, she’s known by lots of names which only adds to the confusion of who’s Maschinenmensch she is.

Parody is the name our mad scientist Rotwang calls her in the novel. But no one reads anymore, so that’s probably why she’s ended up with so many other names like Ultima, Machina, Robotrix, False Maria, Robot Maria, Roboria and Hel.

Even the Japanese have more than one name for our Evil Robot – Mitchi or Tima – take your pick. Personally “Mitchi” the Evil Robot just doesn’t sound all that scary.

And just to clear up a common misconception, Evil Robot Maria never once yells “Danger, Will Robinson!” in this movie.

I hope this has been helpful.  Mitchi says it’s time to go, and I’m not liking the look in his Evil Robot anime eyes.

That’s it. I’m not gonna get all mushy.

See ya ~ Kevin

p.s. The website doesn’t like Mitchi ether.  The socials are running around the kitchen waving their arms yelling, “Danger, Will Robinson. Danger!”