
Hi {{ subscriber.first_name | strip | default: “there” }},
Youâre anxious. I get it.
Youâre about to go off to a foreign land, and what if you get there and want a bite of “Eat Me Cake” or a sip of “Drink Me Juice” or, heaven forbid, a steaming hot cup of teaâŚ. and you canât order it!
Itâs not that you canât order it. You can order til the cows come home. But if you donât speak the language, you ainât gonna get a sip, bite or steam of nothing.
Youâre anxious. I get it.
But you know I got your back and wonât leave you hanging, or whatever else the kids say today. Thatâs why Iâm gonna teach you to swear.
Yep, The Ultimate AliƧin Wonderland Tour will make any sane person anxious. Thatâs why we donât let any sane people take the tour. But the rest of you also get a little anxious and we want to make your tour of the Wonder-hood as happy as possible.
Okay, we really donât care if youâre happy, but if youâre anxious, thereâs always whining and thereâs nothing that hurts my ears more than a bus full of whining. So our motto is âThe Wonder-hood, happy as possible, or at least happy enough so thereâs no whining.â
Just trips off the tongue doesnât it?
When is The Ultimate AliƧin Wonderland Tour, you ask?
*SOON* Mark you calendar. Donât be late.
So⌠youâre anxious. I get it.
And thatâs why weâre gonna teach you to swear in Wonderlandian. You wanna eat donât cha? Well, listen up.
Say you take a trip to Paris (using your own money and not mooching off me). Only⌠you donât speak French. So, maybe taking a trip to Paris was a terrible idea, but if youâre determined to go anyway, you gotta eat, right? So whatâs a non-French speaking traveler to do?
Don’t like to read? No problem. Click the video and hear Victoria read to you. Watch Time 2:35
For those of you that can read, let’s continue shall we
Swear. Yep, just walk into any Maison du Food, point at something behind the glass and say in a firm, yet friendly tone, âMerde!â Donât worry if you get a quizzical look at first. Just keep pointing and saying âMerde!â If at first it doesnât work, just keep making your voice louder and louder and point more frantically at whatever it is you want to eat, and⌠eventually theyâll give it to you.
Many times theyâll give it to you for free. Sometimes theyâll even escort you to the door yelling âMerde!â right along with you.
Paris is the best.
Dude, are we going to Paris? And whatâs in it for me?
You gotta get your own room this time. Iâm serious.
Bottomline it for me
- You’re anxious. I get it.
- When is The Ultimate AliƧin Wonderland Tour?
- *SOON*
- Mark your calendar. Donât be late.
- I didnât say I was gonna teach you to swear in Wonderlandian today
- Stop whining
Thatâs it. Iâm not gonna get all mushy.
See yaâ ~ Kevin
p.s. The website trips off the tongue. The Socials are more “Merde!”.
p.p.s. Whenever youâre ready, here are some more cool ways you can play along:
- âSubscribe to our YouTube Channel. It’s “moving” pictures folks. They’re pictures, and they move!
- âLike us on Facebook and Instagram, Hey, just one mouse click can help our self esteem.
- âVisit the Shop. You donât have to buy anything. Just have a look around. The boss likes it if we look busy.
- âShare the newsletter. Know other people that would like our wacky hi-jinx? (You do too!) Donât bogart the fun.