Making Love to the ChatBot, Part Deux
July 12, 2023


Episode 2.

Look, I promise not to do that annoying thing Star Wars did when they renumbered all the episodes, and Episode 1, suddenly became Episode 4 (or whatever), and then they changed the names, so you never really know what the hell you’re watching until you see the Death Star blow up, which I think it does in every movie.

As far as I can figure, working on building the Death Star is the “galaxy far, far away’s” version of job security. So… this is now, and ever shall be, Chapter 2 (at least until Disney shows up and gives me a lot of money to make the prequel).

So, we went to LA and made the big pitch to the cool new venue company. We dressed up. I wore a suit (green), no tie, cuz I don’t even own a tie anymore, and Victoria looked amazing… as always.

Don’t like to read? Victoria reads this email to you!

There were like 30 people around this big conference room table that must have been the size of a bus. Okay, that’s a lie. There where about 12 people around the conference table (which was still pretty big), and a half dozen people or so lurking on Zoom. So, no pressure.

And, we take this “immersive” thing seriously, cuz before the meeting we emailed each of them a map to Wonderland, AND… when they showed up, they all had a bottle of “Drink Me Juice” and individually boxed “Eat Me Cake” waiting for them, AND…. a box full of our merch like the CD, the tattoo, buttons and a bunch of other stuff we’ve been trying to get rid of for months. 😆
See… “Immersive.” I don’t remember much after that cuz all the “Eat Me Cakes” were edibles and everything’s a bit of a blur.

Nope. Total lie. But I’m really trying to find an interesting way of describing the pitch. Which was pretty darn entertaining, because… well, you’ve been reading these emails for a while now, and did you really think we were gonna show up with a bunch of Excel spreadsheets? We shoulda taped it.

Tell you what. If enough of you write back demanding we make the pitch, we’ll do a special Facebook Live event for you. Yep, I’m gonna regret that, but there you go. You have it in writing.

And fine, just stop your whining. Want a copy of the map to The WonderHood? Here’s the link.

So, I got on my green suit, my two tone shoes and everybody’s staring at Victoria, so… the pitch went great. (Full disclosure, the creative team from the venue was amazing. They really championed AliƧin every step of the way).

In the pitch, we told them about all the shows we’ve done, all the awards we’ve won, all the great reviews we’ve gotten, introduced them to our gal AliƧin, went over to the mini-dome and blew their minds with our demo, gave a little tutorial on the weirdness of theater financing and then….

… then they asked questions. Some good. Some bad. Some I didn’t understand, but looked thoughtful about, until I could figure out a way to bluff my way through an answer.

But there’s one question that’s been stuck in my craw. This was near the end of the pitch, and the main guy looks up at Victoria and I and says, “So what does the audience get out of this?”

Look, we were tired. We were coming down off the “Eat Me Cake” and I had just given a masterclass on theater financing. We came up with some sort of answer, but… of all the brilliant answers to all the questions that day, this is the one answer to the one question that has bothered me. “What does the audience get out of it?”

Don’t you love this part of the email. It’s the part where I find the bit that’s gonna finally tie it all back to the show and… you know it’s almost over.

When we FINALLY got home (did I mention I watched TWO MOVIES on the runway in NEWARK and I still haven’t shaved?), Victoria looks at me and says, “Because it’s a one-of-a-kind experience audiences crave.” I ask her why she’s quoting one of our press reviews and she says, “Because that’s the answer to “What does the audience get out of this?””

As always, she’s right. “We were blown away”, “Spectacularly unique”, A multidimensional, hi-decibel blast, “Magical, exciting and original”, “A one-of-a-kind experience audiences crave.” That’s what we strive to create for you in every single show. And that’s why you come. You know it’s gonna be something special, and different, and not just a bunch of Excel spreadsheets. 

Although, if pushed, I think we could definitely do something interesting with Excel.

Dude, is that a spreadsheet and what’s in it for me?
A one-of-a-kind experience audiences crave.

Bottomline it for me:
• Episode 2 – Revenge of The “Eat Me Cake”
• In the future there is job security
• My two tone shoes kick ass
• I hope I get my luggage back so I can wear them again
• Please do not get me a tie for my birthday
• A one-of-a-kind experience audiences crave

That’s it. I’m not gonna get all mushy.

See ya ~ Kevin

p.s. The website is a one-of-a-kind. The socials are still high on “Eat Me Cake.”



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