The Latest Hijinx
Who doesn’t like hijinx?

WAY better than Aunt Mimi’s Cranberry Sauce 🤢🤮
I get it. Thanksgiving’s tomorrow. You’ve spent the week trying to replicate Aunt Mimi's cranberry sauce that nobody really likes but it’s a tradition, so you may have missed the email about how you can GET THE AliƧin SOUNDTRACK CD FOR FREE! And that you can get it...
Black Friday Sucks 🤬
Forget that lame “mark down” crap… you deserve better than that. 50%? ? 75%? ? 90%? ? I would never insult you that way. In other ways yes, but not that way. That’s why you’re getting the amazing new AliƧin Soundtrack FOR FREE ?Just help us out with the shipping and...
50% is so 2012… 📆 🐰 🙄
I don’t usually get super excited. Super excited is not a good look. Especially on me. My mouth gets all crinkly, there’s this gleam in my eyes, my cheeks are all flush. I look… “happy”. I’m not into it. But I have to admit that I’m as close to “super excited” as I’m...
Do they make sausages in Wonderland? 🌭🐰🎅🏼
Look, I threw a lot at you last week, like Is he a large white dapperly dressed rabbit or isn’t he? In addition to AliƧin, do they create other immersive and interactive shows for my entertainment? What was that thing about Santa Claus and his parents crushing all his...
Time to rip off that Band-aid 🤕🩹❤️🩹🐰😳🎅🏼
Look I know most of you realize that I’m not a giant Harvey-like white rabbit obsessed with checking his watch the way most people check their Insta feed. Well, maybe some of you realize that… I do understand the confusion. I am tall, a pretty dapper dresser and my...
It’s time for AliƧin’s Nightmare in Wonderland 🎃🐰👻
Remember last Halloween? So does everyone else... and except for that episode where we almost lost the Dormouse bobbing for Snickers, and the Cat thinking that real spiders would add "a really awesome touch"... it all went pretty well. Especially when everyone stopped...
Do they color outside the lines in Wonderland🐰🖍🫥
That Vampirella costume is getting tired. I say that as a friend, and as someone who drew the short straw. Stop crying. We’re gonna make it all better with coloring. It’s like the banjo, you can’t color or hear the banjo and feel sad. The AliƧin’s Nightmare in...
Does Wonderland have a weather app? 🐰🌡☔️❄️🌪🌈💨
Don’t look at me that way. I don’t ask the questions. I just go to the “Wonderland Question Box” every week, pull out a slip of paper at random, and answer the damn question. I lead a rich, full life. Okay, let’s break this down, shall we? A weather app would require...
Is candy corn an acceptable sugar substitute in tea? ☕️🐰 🫣
It’s October. Don’t you hate emails that start by stating the obvious? It’s like, “Really? What makes you think in this day and age that I’m not painfully aware that it is now October?” It’s just lazy writing… Anyway, it’s October. It’s that dreaded of all months when...
Why are all the “Ƨ’s” backwards in Wonderland? 🐰 🤨 🤷🏼♂️
Yesterday was the last day of The Ultimate AliƧin Wonderland Tour and I’m not saying we laughed, shared special moments, or made life long friendships that we will cherish forever and ever. And I’m not saying it was the worst tour either. There have been worse....
Of course we’re not having any fun 🐰💃🏼 🥳
I’m not saying you’re missing out or anything, but… we’re only halfway through The Ultimate AliƧin Wonderland Tour and almost everyone has recovered from the jump down the rabbit hole! And if that wasn’t reason enough to celebrate, everybody on The Tour: Got Small on...
Is there a Dress Code in Wonderland? 🐰💃🏼 👔
Is there a Dress Code in The Hood? Well… yes and no. Mostly no, but here are a few suggestions that might help you avoid those stares from Wonderlandians. Which is hard to do ‘cuz we got a Hookah Dude, a, a crying Mock Turtle, an Egg Guy, Tweedle Twins (just to name a...
Can you handle the truth about Wonderland? 🐰 🛸🤷🏼♂️
The truth is out there. The truth will set you free. Yeah… but can you handle the truth? Of course you can. You signed up for this crazy ride, and that tells me that you’re a cool, free-spirted, independently-minded, snappy dresser who can, yes… handle the truth....
Does Wonderland have a reality TV show? 🐰📺
Only 4 weeks until The Ultimate AliƧin Wonderland Tour. Our online interactive experience that gives you a sneak peek at our new multimedia mashup AliƧin. Check it out, this is super deep dive down the rabbit hole. And that’s not just great alliteration. The card...
Do you have to “Get Small” in Wonderland? 🐰🍸
Say what you will about New Yorker’s (and Lord knows a lot has been said about them, and most of it’s true, but who asked you anyway loser!?) Sorry… And while there maybe a little less profanity in The WonderHood (and only marginally less), the thing New Yorkers...
Are there Elephants in Wonderland? 🐘🍄🐰
Look I’m not gonna be one of those guys who writes a long rambling introduction (usually because he has to hit at least 500 word or he doesn’t get paid), and makes you read through a bunch of stuff you could care less about or already know, or that anyone with the IQ...
There are no lines in Wonderland? 😎🍄
The WonderHood is the original name. Lewis was all, “You should rebrand., We can open a theme park., We’ll sell lunch boxes., It’ll be great!” What a maroon, and besides some guy name Walt (who names their kid Walt?) came in on a day pass and ripped off the whole...
The most epic Wonderland fail ever 🕳 🙄
We used to advertise. I know, right? Dumb. 2-for-1 deals. Black Friday sales. We even had a sign showing people how to get here. Oy, what a mistake. The lines were insane. And coming from someone who is intimately familiar with insane, lemme tell you, those lines were...
How many (rabbit) holes to fill The Albert Hall? 🐰 🕳
Some people just can not keep a secret. Take John Lennon. It’s no real secret he was down here a lot. He’s actually why we stopped our frequent flyer program. We were just losing too much money. John was here, a lot. He and The Hookah Dude were really tight. And, it...
Moving to Wonderland 🐰 🚚 🕳
I’ve noticed that when the weather gets really hot, lots of people up here like to put all their stuff in cardboard boxes, get a big orange truck and move their stuff from one place to another. Wonderlandians aren’t really sure what’s up with this, except maybe you...
Wonderland. It’s none of your business
You know what the number one rule of Wonderland is? Many people think it’s “Never talk to the cat”. Which is an excellent suggestion, but it’s not a rule. And one you should really pay attention to because he’s a lying little… but I digress. The number one rule in...
Wonderland sucks at keeping secrets ??
Hi {{ subscriber.first_name | strip | default: "there" }}, Wonderland sucks at keeping secrets. If you ever start a sentence in the WonderHood with, “Now keep this under your hat….”, you might as well walk right into Western Union and send a telegram out to your...