Library of Absolutely True Stuff

    Rocking the Wonder-hood🤘🏼🎸

    Rocking the Wonder-hood🤘🏼🎸

      Hi {{ subscriber.first_name | strip | default: "there" }}, We like the rock and roll in the Wonder-hood. Did you think you were gonna read that when you got up this morning? Well it’s true. We like music. Some music. Well, we usually listen to whatever the...

    Hey, I’m talkin’ to you 🐰📣

    Hey, I’m talkin’ to you 🐰📣

    Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], I gotta bone to pick with you. The day fast approaches. That special day when we celebrate the beauty, magic and wisdom of the majestic rabbit. There are parades. Your Mom buys you new clothes. Baskets overflow with jelly beans. Games are...

    Great Caesar’s Ghost Batman 👻 !

    Great Caesar’s Ghost Batman 👻 !

    Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], “Great Caesar’s Ghost!” This is what editor Perry White used to scream from his office at The Daily Planet when he was looking for Clark Kent (who was probably off on some other planet doing Superman stuff). You may ask yourself, “What do...

    April Fool’s in the Wonder-hood 🤡 ?

    April Fool’s in the Wonder-hood 🤡 ?

    Hi [INSERT NAME HERE], People (creatures, plants, animals, anthropomorphic tea cups, etc) in the Wonder-hood don’t get April Fool’s Day. To them, it’s just another day in the Hood. They really don’t get the days of the week either, but never mind. The origin of April...

    Wanna know a secret 🔐 ?

    Wanna know a secret 🔐 ?

    Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], Things aren't what they seem. I’m writing this February 14th, 2022 at 9:21pm♥️. We’re not going to get bogged down in why I’m writing to you on Valentine’s Day, instead of being on a hot date with my beautiful wife, but like I said... things...

    Who are you? 🤔

    Who are you? 🤔

    Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], Time to reflect. I’m not going to do that, but I thought that there’s probably somebody out there that has done it, and that maybe they could give us all a book report or something about it. You have our email. But… dear reader (see how I’m...

    National Barbie Day 👱🏻‍♀️

    National Barbie Day 👱🏻‍♀️

    Barbie in the sky with diamonds Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], I know. You’ve had “Addicted to Love” stuck in your head all week, right? “The lights are on…” (please make it stop). So you know with a headline like National Barbie Day, that I sat at the computer for a good...

    Might as well face it 🥰

    Might as well face it 🥰

    Face it already! Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], And welcome to another chapter of my every-now-and-then series of deeply personal and revealing essays I call “What the hell were you thinking?” Sit down. It’s just a paragraph of behind-the-scenes dirt on why I wrote /...

    Follow The Rabbit 🐰

    Follow The Rabbit 🐰

    Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], Look, you saw The Matrix, right (the new one’s okay, not great). Ready Player One (the book was better)? Free Guy? Tron? What do all these geeky sci fi movies have in common other than taking hard earned money out of my pocket? Virtual...

    Missed Valentine’s Day 💝 ?  AGAIN…

    Missed Valentine’s Day 💝 ? AGAIN…

    Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], It’s the Wednesday between Valentine’s Day and Presidents Day. The day you’re adding a note to your Google calendar that a new toilet brush and plunger ensemble are not gonna cut it as Valentine’s Day gifts (no matter how much you may need...

    02/02/2022 22:22:22 🕑

    02/02/2022 22:22:22 🕑

    Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], Let’s just take a minute, shall we? At 10:22 (and 22 seconds) today it will be 02/02/2022 22:22:22. That’s it. Do with it what you will but, I think it’s a once in forever thing, right? Pretty cool. It’s also Groundhog’s Day. Which, of...

    You are so gonna rock Karaoke tonight 🎶🎤

    You are so gonna rock Karaoke tonight 🎶🎤

    Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], I totally hooked you up 2 whole days before the release of With What PorPoise (the new single from your favorite immersive concert experience, AliƧin). “Yeah, yeah, thanks and everything”, you say. “But I’m still mumbling the lyrics. You...

    Heavy Metal Knitting 🤘🏼

    Heavy Metal Knitting 🤘🏼

    Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], I know I just wrote to you on Wednesday. And no, I am not that needy (not all the time). And no, no, no we are not offering any NFTs of… anything! Seriously. Then why the hell am I writing? Because it’s Release Day! 🎉. Today With What...

    It’s Good Smelly

    It’s Good Smelly

    Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], You can smell it, right? Not that. That’s… I don’t know what that is, but it’s not my fault. Anyway, the good smell is the anticipation of “Release Day”, this Friday! The release of what you ask? With What PorPoise, from your favorite...

    There’s still confetti in the couch cushions

    There’s still confetti in the couch cushions

    Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], Welcome back. 2022, it has that New Year smell doesn’t it? Don't like to read? No problem. Click the video to hear this email read to you by Victoria. For those of you that can read, let's continue shall we? Some Quick 2021 Stuff You can...

    Bananas in Wonderland

    Bananas in Wonderland

    Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], Look. Be nice to this coming year. It totally can't help how badly its siblings have acted.⁠ Don't like to read? No problem. Click the video to hear this email read to you by Victoria. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GeZ8irVFE74 For those of...

    Twas the night before WHO ARE Y8U

    Twas the night before WHO ARE Y8U

    ​ Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], It’s that magical time of year again. That time when we all grab a hedgehog and head over to the tea party for the traditional reading of 'Twas the night before WHO ARE Y8U. So string the lights up on the mushroom, hold that hedgehog tight...

    Weird stuff you should know

    Weird stuff you should know

    Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], Look, you seem clever enough. So I’m gonna take a chance here and let you in on a little AliƧin inside dope. Now don’t go spreading this around. If you keep it on the down low then you’ll be the smartest smarty pants at the holiday feast of...

    ‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy

    ‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy

    Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], Admit it. There are a bunch of songs you’ve listened to your whole life, and you still don’t understand what the hell they’re singing. Admit it. Don't like to read? No problem. Click the video to hear this email read to you by Victoria....

    It’s here! It’s here! It’s here!

    It’s here! It’s here! It’s here!

    Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], Welcome back. It's here! It's here! It's here! IF THE KEY FITS, the first single from AliƧin is finally HERE!!!⁠ SOME of you have been very patient (you know who you are). Now, that special day is finally here!⁠ ⁠Stream or Download here....

    Tingly

    Tingly

    Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], Do you feel that excitement in the air? What do you mean it’s too cold for "excitement"? Okay, it’s too cold, but if you wear a scarf you can feel the excitement in the air. That tingly “Christmas is coming early” this year feeling. Why?...

    I want my MTV

    I want my MTV

    Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], What's MTV? (sigh) Imagine a magical streaming service that played the newest, coolest music videos 24-7. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Oh, never mind, go ask your grandparents. Don't like to read? No problem. Click the video to hear this email read...

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