coo coo ca choo

Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE],

Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. “When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.”

“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.” “The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master—that’s all.”

What the hell!?

Seriously, you’re an egg. You’re sitting up on a very tall wall. And you smile ‘contemptuously’, and use a ’scornful tone’, while being annoying and not making one bit of sense. Even in the WonderHood.

AND the dude is totally obnoxious.

‘It’s very provoking,’ Humpty Dumpty said after a long silence, looking away from Alice as he spoke, ‘to be called an egg — very!’

All the girl said was that he looked like an egg. HE DOES LOOK LIKE AN EGG. HE’S AN EGG!

And he’s insulting.

scrambled

‘My name is Alice, but —’

‘It’s a stupid name enough!’ Humpty Dumpty interrupted impatiently. ‘What does it mean?’

‘Must a name mean something?’ Alice asked doubtfully.

‘Of course it must,’ Humpty Dumpty said with a short laugh: ‘my name means the shape I am — and a good handsome shape it is, too. With a name like yours, you might be any shape, almost.’

Geez, what a narcissist.

Don’t like to read? No problem. Click the video and hear Victoria read to you.
Watch Time 2:16

If you want my opinion, Mr. Coo Coo Ca Choo is just asking for it. He’s up on a wall. Casting aspersions. Being all, “Look at me I’m an egg.” Just one little, “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to bump into you.” And it’s all over for you bub!

Dude, does this wall make me look fat, and what’s in it for me?

All the King’s horses… Just sayin’.

Bottomline it for me

  • Don’t take any sass from an egg.
  • Eggs are fat.
  • Because they’re eggs!
  • Who the hell wants a skinny egg? It’s kinda creepy. Not creepier than a talking egg, but creepy.

That’s it. I’m not gonna get all mushy.

See ya’ ~ Kevin

p.s. The website is serving a delicious omelette brunch special. The socials have a creepy bag of skinny egg shells.

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