I scroll through the Instagram sometimes. As Spock would say, it’s fascinating. As I scrolled the other day, I fell upon a video of it hailing softball size pieces of ice down on a neighborhood in Arizona. It was crazy, and more than a little scary, so I started reading the 200+ comments for some more information.

Big mistake.

I didn’t read them all, but after a few swipes the take away I got was, “The government manipulates the weather.”

Now everyone knows that’s crazy. Only a ubiquitous, secret, evil, world-dominating organization like  S.P.E.C.T.R.E. has the equipment, know-how and evil underground lair built inside a dormant volcano on a tiny tropical island that one obviously needs in order to manipulate the weather. And besides, they are far too interested in manipulating the cryptocurrency market to give a crap about what temperature it is.

Crypto is much easier. You manipulate and then go buy another tropical island. No fuss. No muss.

Don’t like to read? Victoria reads this email to you!

With the weather, you have to corner something like the world’s supply of bananas, then wipe out all the bananas, which drives up the price of smoothies everywhere, so people are willing to pay exorbitant prices for their “Peanut Butter, Strawberry, Banana Pick-Me-Up” they always get after the best pilates workout ever.

See? It’s just *way* too much work to manipulate the weather when you can just find a super smart tech bro to click on his iPad and make you a trillion dollars. This is just a better use of time and resources and… it leaves a *lot* more time for karaoke in the tiki bar you had built on the top of your dormant volcano lair.

Yep, perception is a fascinating thing. And I’ll admit it, we spend a lot of time messing with your perception in our shows. We line up all the insanely cool music, off-the-wall performances and mind-blowing visuals “just so” and when we do it right, you are transported from one reality to… a better reality.

Cuz really. Isn’t reality always so much better when people are singing to you?

Now, if the government is monitoring this email (what am I saying, of course they are), and you are manipulating the weather, you’re doing a crap job. Just sayin’.

It’s 91° in Montreal and 66° here at the beach. Really, just try turning the knob the other way. You can’t make it much worse.

Newsletter readers in Arizona – keep looking up and remember, “Hail falls from the sky when it becomes heavy enough to overcome the strength of a thunderstorm’s updraft and is pulled to the ground by gravity. Hailstones can grow to be 6 inches in diameter and weigh more than 1.1 pounds.”

That’s it. I’m not gonna get all mushy.

See ya ~ Kevin

p.s. It’s ABBA night at the website tiki bar. The socials are doubling down on crypto.