Wonderlandians love Cinco de Mayo.

Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE],

People sometimes say to me, “You know, you’re a little snarky.” To which I say, “Shut up!”, or “Who asked you?, or “Says who?”

But after I say that, I say, “Thanks.”

Why? Don’t be a dope. You think this comes easy? Okay actually, it does come pretty easy. I mean, living in the Wonder-Hood will make anybody a little ill tempered.

Or mad. There’s a lot of mad going on around here.

Anyway, I wasn’t always the effusive, outgoing bon vivant you know and love. Okay, I was, but what kind of half interesting story doesn’t have the hero making a journey to overcome insurmountable odds in order to become the heroic hero they’re suppose to become?

Look, don’t expect the Iliad or anything, but things really started to look up when I discovered H.A.R.E. Yep ‘Having Attitude Requires Exercise’ was a real game changer for me. Well, not a gamer changer so much as a place to get together with like minded folk and see who we can make cry.

The conventions are awesome.

They like the colors.

H.A.R.E. Our motto is, “If you don’t have anything nice to say about someone, come over here and sit by me.” *

And this is important why? Because there is a very important Tea Party in your future, and I don’t want you to embarrass yourself.

At least don’t cry. Please, promise me no crying, cuz when the crying starts, everyone piles on and it’s not pretty. Unless you’re at one of our conventions, then that’s called the opening night cocktail party.

So, now you see I’m just doing this for your own good, right? To toughen you up. Get your game face on, or at least not have you weeping at the first eye roll that’s shot your way.

Don’t like to read? No problem. Click the video and hear Victoria read to you.
Watch Time 2:44

Or there’s the ‘mad’ thing. You can go with that, but really, how many,  “Clean cup, clean cup! Move down!“, or “Have I gone mad?” or “What is the hatter with me?” can you have blabbering around a hot pot of tea? It’s too much and not enough I tell you!

Crap, now you got me doing it!

So toughen up already. I’m taking a chance taking you on this tour and I don’t want you embarrassing me!

Please stop crying.

Fine. Then yell “We’re all mad here!” at the top of your lungs.

LOUDER. I can’t HEAR you.

Pitiful. There’s a H.A.R.E. meeting next week. Be there. You need the practice.

Dude, are we going to a party? What’s in it for me?

LOUDER. I can’t HEAR you!

Bottomline it for me

  • H.A.R.E. You think you’ve got the right stuff?
  • Snarky!? Shut up, uh thanks!
  • If you don’t have anything nice to say… you got potential.
  • Whimpering is still crying.
  • LOUDER. I can’t HEAR you.

That’s it. I’m not gonna get all mushy (yeah, like that’s gonna happen).

See ya’ ~ Kevin

* Dorothy Parker, Charter Member

p.s. The website is offering support training. The socials just want to make you cry.

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