Who the hell would want to upset Dolly Parton?!
April 25, 2023


We made fun of Stuart the first day he went to work at the bank. Stuart’s my brother. He’s not really my brother, but he’s my brother because he and his brother Scott and I were inseparable growing up, and, it’s a long story… but just go with me when I say Stuart’s my brother.

Stuart was always the smart one, and went and got himself one of those smart degrees in college and not a music degree. And that meant he could go to work in a bank and become a big deal banker and do whatever it is that bankers do. No, I’m not bitter, really, but Scott and I did make fun of him the first day he went to work, cuz he had on this very slick Brooks Brothers suit, and pressed white shirt and power tie.

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And even though his shoes needed polishing, he looked good. But we’d only ever seen him in our standard jeans, t-shirt and sneaker ensemble (that yes, I still wear), and it was a bit of a shock. So, we were all, “Hey, you’re all dressed up like the man.” I don’t know if we say that anymore, but this used to refer to “selling out” or becoming part of the “establishment”, two other phrases I’m not sure if we use anymore either.

But you get it.  He was out of uniform. He didn’t look like us anymore and that made us uncomfortable.

And like I said, Stuart was the smart one, and without missing a beat he said, “You play the part, you wear the costume.”


So, now I find myself sort of in the costume business. I still wear my jeans and t-shirts and I don’t sew, but in our artsy, cinematic theatrical mashups and fulldome experiences, we dress up. Even with the concerts, we dress up all “rock and roll” and try and look good for you. I mean, do men sometimes dress up as women in our productions… maybe. It worked for Shakespeare and Mozart, so we figure what the hell, let’s give it a shot.

Do women dress as men? Does a suit count? And what if it’s a robot suit? I’m not sure what gender our robot is, so I’m not sure if that puts us in some weird, murky legal “no man’s land.” I mean, it’s not being a male or a female impersonator… really, so I’m just a little vague on the legal ramifications here.

Do we ever get a little “suggestive”? If we’re doing it right. And just forget about it, we’re gonna have to “86” all the kid shows.

I mean, look, we’re music nerds, and we’re movie geeks, comic book fans, sci fi and fantasy lovers, and have you seen KISS? OMG, they are totally dressed up and wearing all sorts of makeup. And what about Cate Blanchett in Tar?

But… most importantly, where does viking cosplay fit into all this? I’ve got a lot invested in kilts. I’ve got one for every season and those suckers are not cheap.

That’s it. I got no answers here. But I had just gotten used to the construction guys in NYC whistling at me on Kilt Fridays, and I’m just trying to protect my investment in those kilts and my limited edition box set of Highlander movies.

It’s a drag to have to think about this kinda stuff. I mean even Dolly Parton is upset. Who would ever want to upset Dolly Parton?* (see * below)

Look, clothes reflect who you are, how you feel and sometimes what you want to achieve in life. Dress reflects your personality, character, mood, style and who you are as an individual. Whatever you wear should reflect the real you. That is unless you’re in one of our shows, then you have to wear what we tell you, even the robot suit, cuz, like Stuart says, “You play the part, you wear the costume.”

DUDE, is that a Robot Suit and what’s in it for me?
That’s not a toy. Take that off.

Bottomline it for me
– Family’s not just biological
– Robots are not gender specific
– I think that means we’re in a lot of trouble
– Somebody please get back to me about the status of kilts
– Who the hell would ever want to upset Dolly Parton?
(* “It’s a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise, I’d be a drag queen.”)

That’s it, I’m not gonna get all mushy.
See ya ~ Kevin

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