Q: What sorts of opera are there? A: Who cares?
May 30, 2023


“Well, basically there are two sorts of opera,” said Nanny, who also had the true witch’s ability to be confidently expert on the basis of no experience whatsoever. “There’s your heavy opera, where basically people sing foreign and it goes like “Oh oh oh, I am dyin’, oh I am dyin’, oh oh oh, that’s what I’m doin'”, and there’s your light opera, where they sing in foreign and it basically goes “Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! I like to drink lots of beer!”, although sometimes they drink champagne instead. That’s basically all of opera, reely.” ― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade

Yep, Nanny, in those Terry Pratchett books that I just learned about and that I can’t wait to read, is correct. All of it. Everything. I went to music school and basically they stretch that paragraph into two semesters and three expensive books.

And other than the melodramatic plots, hammy acting, forced, and many times unpleasant singing style, and ridiculously over-supported public funding, it’s a darn good night out after you’ve finished watching Loki, Season One for the third time, and your wife tells you you have to get out of the house, because how can she miss you if you won’t go away.

However…. (don’t roll your eyes, you knew this part was coming), Nanny’s treatise on opera was expounded more than two hundred years before the 1970’s and the birth of “the rock opera.” Now you can roll your eyes.

Don’t like to read? Victoria reads this email to you!

The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Tommy, Superstar, 200 Motels, Soap Opera, Bat Out of Hell (maybe)… makes you feel all warm and fuzzy, doesn’t it? Rock and roll music, melodramatic plots, hammy acting, forced, and many times, unpleasant singing… I miss the 70’s. And why? Not just because of black light posters, but because “the rock opera” simply did not deserve what happened to it the 1980’s or 90’s.

The rock opera got screwed. 

You had people on roller skates, and people dressed up like cats, and more people on roller skates, and people dancing while having buckets of water poured on them. Okay, maybe the last one isn’t really a rock opera, and I kinda remember liking it. Never mind. And you got Kevin Bacon saving some farming community one dance at a time, and it’s just too depressing to list any more.

At its core, “the concept album” is good. It rocks. It doesn’t need roller skates. It doesn’t need cats. And as good a dancer as Kevin Bacon is, it… okay, Kevin can stay.

What’s this got to do with us and what we do over here, not-to-mention how I have to fill this email, week after week? Because, we got your rock opera right here. Rollerskate-less, cat-less, kick-ass rock operas that we perform live to silent films! We let the movies do the melodramatic plots and hammy acting (okay, we do some of that), while we bring you very cool artsy, cinematic songs and scores, with absolutely NO forced or unpleasant singing.

And yeah, we do sing in latin… a lot! Basically, because everything sounds cool in latin. What does it mean? Well, when you come to our performances, and your friends ask you “Was that latin?” and “What the hell were they singing about?” You can answer them with confidence that “Yes, that was indeed latin,” and they were singing, “Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! I like to drink lots of beer!”

Dude, is that Bel Canto opera, and what’s in it for me?
Cervisia. See, even beer sounds cool in latin.

Bottomline it for me
– It’s just a jump to the left.
– Bowie. Still the best costumes.
– Cats should be seen, not sung.
– Why did I not know about Terry Pratchett’s books until now?
The rock opera got screwed.
– Seriously, no cats.

That’s it, I’m not gonna get all mushy.

See ya ~ Kevin

p.s. Our cat-less website awaits. The socials smell like a litter box.

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