Library of Absolutely True Stuff

It’s October. Don’t you hate emails that start by stating the obvious? It’s like, “Really? What makes you think in this day and age that I’m not painfully aware that it is now October?” It’s just lazy writing… Anyway, it’s October. It’s that dreaded of all months when...

  Yesterday was the last day of The Ultimate AliƧin Wonderland Tour and I’m not saying we laughed, shared special moments, or made life long friendships that we will cherish forever and ever. And I’m not saying it was the worst tour either. There have been worse....

I’m not saying you’re missing out or anything, but… we’re only halfway through The Ultimate AliƧin Wonderland Tour and almost everyone has recovered from the jump down the rabbit hole! And if that wasn’t reason enough to celebrate, everybody on The Tour: Got Small on...

Is there a Dress Code in The Hood? Well… yes and no. Mostly no, but here are a few suggestions that might help you avoid those stares from Wonderlandians. Which is hard to do ‘cuz we got a Hookah Dude, a, a crying Mock Turtle, an Egg Guy, Tweedle Twins (just to name a...

The truth is out there. The truth will set you free. Yeah… but can you handle the truth? Of course you can. You signed up for this crazy ride, and that tells me that you’re a cool, free-spirted, independently-minded, snappy dresser who can, yes… handle the truth....

Only 4 weeks until The Ultimate AliƧin Wonderland Tour. Our online interactive experience that gives you a sneak peek at our new multimedia mashup AliƧin. Check it out, this is super deep dive down the rabbit hole. And that’s not just great alliteration. The card...

Say what you will about New Yorker’s (and Lord knows a lot has been said about them, and most of it’s true, but who asked you anyway loser!?) Sorry… And while there maybe a little less profanity in The WonderHood (and only marginally less), the thing New Yorkers...

Look I’m not gonna be one of those guys who writes a long rambling introduction (usually because he has to hit at least 500 word or he doesn’t get paid), and makes you read through a bunch of stuff you could care less about or already know, or that anyone with the IQ...

The WonderHood is the original name. Lewis was all, “You should rebrand., We can open a theme park., We’ll sell lunch boxes., It’ll be great!” What a maroon, and besides some guy name Walt (who names their kid Walt?) came in on a day pass and ripped off the whole...

We used to advertise. I know, right? Dumb. 2-for-1 deals. Black Friday sales. We even had a sign showing people how to get here. Oy, what a mistake. The lines were insane. And coming from someone who is intimately familiar with insane, lemme tell you, those lines were...

Some people just can not keep a secret. Take John Lennon. It’s no real secret he was down here a lot. He’s actually why we stopped our frequent flyer program. We were just losing too much money. John was here, a lot. He and The Hookah Dude were really tight. And, it...

You know what the number one rule of Wonderland is? Many people think it’s “Never talk to the cat”. Which is an excellent suggestion, but it’s not a rule. And one you should really pay attention to because he’s a lying little… but I digress. The number one rule in...

Hi {{ subscriber.first_name | strip | default: "there" }}, Wonderland sucks at keeping secrets. If you ever start a sentence in the WonderHood with, “Now keep this under your hat….”, you might as well walk right into Western Union and send a telegram out to your...

Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], Ah, summer. That magical time when we break out our favorite pair of Bermuda shorts, proudly show off our achingly white legs and stand in 3-hour long lines at the airports while munching on a $17 snack bar scone. Mmm, scones. Summer?...

Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. "When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less." "The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many...

Hi {{ subscriber.first_name | strip | default: "there" }}, In the version you’ve been told, the Mouse gets a bad rap. “That” story makes the Mouse out to be some kind of dope who comes to a party only to sleep all over everything (and every body). Yeah, sure the Mouse...

Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], Mushrooms. You wouldn’t think you could build an empire with those tiny bits of fungus, but you’d be wrong. Apparently, mushrooms can make you rich. And they did make The Hookah Dude rich. Rich beyond your wildest dreams. My dreams are...

Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], The Queen sucks at gardening. It’s true and she’s very sensitive about it. How do you think the whole “Off with their heads!” thing got started? Well, it started with daisies. Who doesn’t like daisies? The Queen liked daisies and, this isn’t...

Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], People sometimes say to me, “You know, you’re a little snarky.” To which I say, “Shut up!”, or “Who asked you?, or “Says who?” But after I say that, I say, “Thanks.” Why? Don’t be a dope. You think this comes easy? Okay actually, it does...

Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE], Wonderlandians love Cinco de Mayo. They do! They have no idea what it means, but they like the colors, and the music and the piñatas and it gives them a chance to put salt on the rim of their tea cups and well... you get it. Wonderlandians...

Hi {{ subscriber.first_name | strip | default: "there" }}, You’re anxious. I get it. You’re about to go off to a foreign land, and what if you get there and want a bite of "Eat Me Cake" or a sip of "Drink Me Juice" or, heaven forbid, a steaming hot cup of tea…. and...