The Latest Hijinx
Who doesn’t like hijinx?

Neither here nor there
It's that time of year. Yep, it's officially "Neither Here Nor There." That time of year when it's just sad if you still have your Halloween decorations up, and those Thanksgiving leftovers are getting dangerously old, and... it's just way too early to open your...
Don’t buy a ticket on The Speedwell
So... we all know the Pilgrims sailed across the ocean blue on a ship called The Mayflower, laden with cans of cranberry sauce and that's why we have Thanksgiving. What you may not know is that there was another boat on that epic voyage. Yep, a ship called The...
Afeitarse y cortarse el pelo “dos bits”💈
So, it's way too freaking cold today, and I'm dragging our beat up little cart behind me on my way to Trader Joe's. Yep, show business is glamorous. I crossed Third at 53rd Street and about 50 steps in, I stopped. Not because someone was admiring my new pork pie hat...
What Does Happily Ever After Look Like?
Well, aren't we being "Mr. I'm-So-Deep-And-Philosophical" this week, you say? And even if you didn't say it, just go with me cuz otherwise I got nothing to write about this week. I saw "What Does Happily Ever After Look Like?" on a bus, or in the men's room at The...
We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming
I know. You got up extra early this morning. Made your bed. Had a hearty breakfast and, so as not to burn yourself again, carefully carried your second cup of steaming hot coffee to your computer and... waited. It was only 6:30am EDT after all, and although you knew...
A tour of the best pubs in Cardiff
FDUK. Cardiff. Opening for Pink Floyd. Good times. FDUK was kind of like going to summer camp, if summer camp took place in the cold and damp of drizzly October with lots of beer and darts and crazy fun people who you had lots of deep conversations with, but never...
Veni. Vidi. FDUK.
We came. We saw. We FDUKed. Yep... and an amazing FDUK it was. I promise I'm eventually going to stop with the terrible double entendre, but how often do you get this kind of opportunity? Just know that I will keep looking for places to slip it in as we go along (that...
Warm beer for breakfast and other Welsh ruminations
Today's little piece of email sunshine comes to you from Wales. More specifically "The Queen's Vaults," a charming little pub on a charming little street in "The Diff" which is how we insiders refer to "Cardiff." Now, before your mind fills with images of Hemingway...
paid a’m casau jyst achos dwi’n mynd i cymru a ti ddim! 🏴🚀
No, that's not a secret message for you to decipher with your Super Secret Decoder Ring. Although it could be 'cuz we are getting those, because I figure if we're gonna have a super secret club house and a super secret weekly email, we should have our own Super Secret...
Celebrate National “Make Your Bed Day” with Us 🙄
Don't 'cha just love September? It's filled to the brim with all my favorite holidays. National Pepperoni Pizza Day, National Beer Lovers Day, National Pot Pie Day, National Coffee Day (mmm coffee) and my most favorite of all National Make Your Bed Day. Now, I do not...
Wanna come over and see my new sewer pipe?
Our house in Los Angeles was built in 1926 on what was once the edge of an orange grove, where you had to take two trolley cars just to get close enough to where you could walk the rest of the way. Today it's the best cut-through street to the airport, and everyone...
Why the hell else would you be on the mailing list? 😱
Look, uh... I'll just come right out and say it. I'm a little embarrassed. I know I should have asked before now, but you know, we're hanging out, having a jolly old time, and I'm eating all your potato chips and what I hope was guacamole that I found in the fridge....
Why this may not be for you 🤨
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re here at all. I'm not gonna get all mushy, and you can forget about the hugging, but it's cool that you wanna strap in with us and take this crazy ride. But some things just aren’t for everybody. We stopped at a restaurant on our way...
The epic Sunday night tomato soup volcano (Best science project ever🌋)
It's Sunday evening, the sun is setting over a beautiful lake here in Quebec, Canada, and that first promise of cocktails is starting to dance in my head. Yep, it's a little different than it was growing up. Growing up, Sunday night was always tomato soup and saltines...
Why the hell are they called Flip Flops?
Look. Most people think Flip Flops are called Flip Flops because of the sound they make when you walk.🙄 What a maroon. As usual, I'm going to give you the real, bar beat winning 411 AND help you save money! Flip Flops are called Flip Flops because they were invented...
Dope as F***
Look. I didn’t say that (this time). Yes, I do have a mouth like a sailor. And yes, many sailors are a little embarrassed to hang with me. But... our Psychedelic Flip Flops and the 20% OFF we're giving, does have everyone's tongue wagging. Our AliƧin Psychedelic Flip...
I saw you checking me out 🏝️🩴
Don’t be embarrassed. I saw you checking me out. Which is cool. Only you were checking out my feet. Which is weird, until I remembered I was wearing these. Our very super sexy and crazy trippy Psychedelic Flip-Flops. They are insanely cool and they’re about the only...
I told you to wear sunscreen! ☀️🧴🥵 🔥 🫠
It’s Sunday and I’m looking out at a little Marina in Virginia. Deltaville to be exact. It’s 95 degrees out but feels like 103, and it’s only 9am. It’s hot. Officially, the technical term is Freaking Hot (there’s another technical term, but this is a family friendly...
Topher and the Multiverse Backyard Adventure
I have no idea what that means. I've been lying in bed for the past two hours trying to go to sleep while "Rhapsody in Blue" bangs away in my head because Victoria was on hold for an hour waiting to talk to United about our lost luggage. Our luggage is now apparently...
Making Love to the ChatBot, Part Deux
Episode 2. Look, I promise not to do that annoying thing Star Wars did when they renumbered all the episodes, and Episode 1, suddenly became Episode 4 (or whatever), and then they changed the names, so you never really know what the hell you're watching until you see...
Making Love to the ChatBot, Part 1
We just got back from LA. A company building a bunch of new venues heard about us, and asked us to come out and make a big pitch. We prepared, we rehearsed, we had an awesome deck (that we threw up on the big screen from the iPad - very slick) and a mind-blowing video...
Golf on TV is dumb
Don't look at me that way. My Dad was a golfer. He was pretty good too - Junior PGA or something. But, back in the day, being a pro golfer was kinda like touring with your band and living out of the van. I think it's probably still like that until Titleist shows up...