That’s a quote from “The Emperor’s New Groove,” one of the absolute best, and the most under appreciated of all the fine animated features made by the talented men and women at Disney.

Stream it. Rent it. Buy it. Money back guarantee you’ll love it.  Eartha Kitt is the voice of the villain, and… I can’t tell you anymore, it’ll spoil it. Anyway, just imagine that one-of-a-kind voice of Eartha Kitt’s saying, “Why do we even have that lever!?” Hell, that’s funny even without the movie.

And, why DO we even have that lever!? That’s how I feel about snow. I hate snow. I wish it would never snow. Ever. It snowed in New York recently. Not that you’d know it. The news folk were all “Biggest snowstorm in 2 years!” Like that meant anything. It hasn’t snowed in 2 years, and I was fine with that. Everyone stayed home. Everything was closed.

It looked like it rained and there were just a few flakes of snow on top of some cars. It was pitiful really.

Didn’t stop the kids of NYC from having a snow day though. Thousands of ’em on inner tubes and flexible flyers racing down the Central Park hills with their parents frantically trying to catch them before they go flying out into oncoming traffic.

New York kids are tough.

Don’t like to read? Victoria reads this email to you!

And snow is embarrassing for dogs. When it snows, even the embarrassingly small amount it just snowed, every dog owner squeezes their pet’s paws into the overpriced bright yellow dog galoshes they picked up two years ago at Petco and haven’t used yet because it hasn’t snowed in two years. The dogs put up with this crap cuz they’re getting free room and board, but they ain’t happy about it. Every dog I passed would not look me in the eye. They were all “Nothing to see here. It’s completely natural for a dog to walk around with bright yellow galoshes and I make ’em look good.”

New York dogs are completely humiliated.

And, in case you weren’t aware, New Yorkers of all ages are overachievers. Sure, outside of NYC you have your usual snowmen, snowwomen, snowball fights, and igloo forts… but do you have a guy who makes a ski jump for his kid? And not some 2-foot high bump in the middle of the Great Lawn. I’m talking this dude piled snow up 7 feet high and at least 14 feet long to make a 2/3rds scale model of an Olympic Ski Jump.

New Yorkers take snow days to a whole new level.

Well, this is about the place I’d usually start to draw some parallel between the overzealous dad building a ski jump for his kid, and all the time, love and effort we put into making our shows for you… but I’m not gonna do that. Because it would mean putting our shows and snow in the same sentence, and I just can’t bring myself to do that.

Did I mention I hate snow?

That’s it. I’m not gonna get all mushy.

See ya ~ Kevin

p.s. There’s a beautiful fire in the fireplace and the website has prepared drinks and a lovely buffet. The socials are trying to put on the dog’s galoshes.