We used to advertise. I know, right? Dumb.
2-for-1 deals. Black Friday sales. We even had a sign showing people how to get here.
Oy, what a mistake. The lines were insane. And coming from someone who is intimately familiar with insane, lemme tell you, those lines were nuts. Then we had the guys show up hocking the knock off t-shirts, and vendors with the āred pill jello shotsāĀ (which werenāt bad really), and when everyone in line started sticking a velcro rabbit tail on their ass, it was time to stop the madnessĀ (which is something you will rarely hear us say).
Especially because people kept pulling at my tail saying how real it looked, and where could they get one for little Billy, andā¦. I mean, how would you like a line of sweaty, jello shot addled tourists grabbing your ass all day?
Enough was enough. So we went dark. No more ads. Not more signs. No more āI went to Wonderland and all I got was this stupid t-shirtā t-shirt.
Thatās when we started moving the rabbit hole everyday. Sometimes twice a day. Pointed the signs the wrong way. I even disguised my tail for a while. That was *really* uncomfortable, but worth it.People lost interest. They couldnāt find a line to stand in, the jello shots dried up (they werenāt bad really), so they ripped off their fake fur tails and went home.Now donāt get all weepy on me. Youāre all, āHow am I gonna get there?ā, “What if I canāt find it?ā Waah, waah, waah. Look, youāre reading this, right? So stop with the water works. I am totally gonna hook you up.Iām even putting together a tour. Itās too damn hot to do it now, but⦠soon. I need a little time to track down that jello shot guy.Don’t like to read? No problem. Click the video and hear Victoria read to you.
Watch TimeĀ https://youtu.be/xOlaowP17ooFor those of you thatĀ canĀ read, let’s continue shall weDude, is that the line, and whatās in it for me?
āYouāre supposed to put those in the refrigerator before you eat them.Bottomline it for me
- Sometimes youāll find an āI went to Wonderland and all I got was this stupid t-shirtā t-shirt at Goodwill.
- Sure, take the red pill. Can’t hurt.
- Stop staring at my tail.
- They werenāt bad really.
Thatās it. Iām not gonna get all mushy.See yaā ~ Kevin
p.s. TheĀ websiteĀ is serving jello shots ātil late. The socials are totally gonna grab your ass.p.p.s. Whenever youāre ready, here are some more cool ways you can play along:
- āSubscribe to our YouTube Channel. It’s “moving” pictures folks. They’re pictures, and they move!
- āLike us onĀ FacebookĀ andĀ Instagram, Hey, just one mouse click can help our self esteem.
- āVisit the Shop. You donāt have to buy anything. Just have a look around. The boss likes it if we look busy.
- āShare the newsletter. Know other people that would like our wacky hi-jinx?Ā (You do too!)Ā Donāt bogart the fun.
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