They should totally ban my music
April 18, 2023


I’m lucky people don’t know anything about music. I don’t know anything about music, but I know what I like. And I like the artsy, cinematic stuff I write.

What? It’s my newsletter.

Don’t like to read? Victoria reads this email to you!

Anyway, I’m really lucky that nobody knows anything about music, and the ones that do, aren’t reading this, so I can tell you. If the people that ban stuff knew anything about music, they would totally ban my stuff. They would be marching into libraries and asking if they had music and be surprised to find out they indeed have both music and movies, and that you can check that stuff out, and then after renewing their library cards, they would go pull my stuff off the shelf and ban it.

And I don’t know if those banning people know this or not, but when they ban stuff, you can still get it on Amazon. You can download the Kindle file in like a minute, or get the book with Prime tomorrow morning. So, to reiterate, the banning people should ban my stuff, because then I’ll finally make some sales on Amazon.

That and because my stuff is totally subversive.

I mean, have you read my lyrics? They’re totally “sexually explicit”, contain a shit load of “offensive language” and they are really “unsuited to any age group.” And that’s just the lyrics. The freaking notes are completely out of control. I mean, you don’t notice at first, cuz I do all that in a very humorous way, but it’s all there – the sex, the swearing and the unsuitable.

And that’s why it’s so good. (Again, my newsletter.) Okay, it’s good for other reasons, but I’m focusing on these because I’m trying to increase my Amazon sales.

Face it, art that doesn’t challenge you, or have a little “boom-chicka-wow-wow”, or get in your face, or is unsuitable (which is the one I’m still fuzzy on), is just that crap they hang in hotel lobbies, or that picture my Mom had of the dogs playing poker in the downstairs bathroom.

So, how am I gonna tie this up? I’m gonna say something like, “Always go for the banned stuff.” Which is catchy and maybe we’ll make a bumper sticker out of it and sell it at the merch table. And actually, the more I write that, the more I think we have to do it.

But seriously, always go for the banned stuff. You may not like it. It may shock and offend you. It may be unsuitable (again, whatever the hell it is), but it won’t be that picture of the dogs playing poker in my Mom’s downstairs bathroom. It will cause you to think, and if not think, it will cause you to feel. Which is totally better!

Yes, the dogs playing poker does make you feel, but not good.

Okay, now get out there, sign a petition and get me banned!

DUDE, is that a a petition and what’s in it for me?
You don’t want unsuitable music do you? Sign, damn it!.

Bottomline it for me
– Subversive is really just a state of mind
– It’s my newsletter
– Please get back to me about what “unsuitable” means
– Sign the petition and ban my music
– And write a good review when you buy it on Amazon. It helps.
– I feel a little bad about making fun of my Mom’s picture

That’s it, I’m not gonna get all mushy.
See ya ~ Kevin

p.s. The website is subversive in a charming way. The socials are unsuitable.

p.p.s. Whenever you’re ready, here are some more cool ways you can play along:
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