Hi [FIRST NAME GOES HERE],

Trick or treat.

Seriously, why would you trust anyone who says that? You know it’s a total set up and that they’re going to take a really big handful of your candy (especially the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups) and then totally TP your front lawn.

Why do you think I moved to New York City?

Don’t like to read? No problem. Click the video to hear this email read to you by Victoria.

For those of you that can read, let’s continue shall we?

Let’s try this. “Treat!” That’s it, no trick. We’ve got this cool new outfit as well as *this* equally cool little number. They’re both out now and available just in time for you to dress up as (and subtly promote) your favorite new show, AliƧin.

Dude, what the hell are you taking about? What’s in it for me?

That’s the thanks I get? I just solved your Halloween costume dilemma! Because you can NOT go out as “a guy wearing pants” again. No one’s fooled.

I know you’re excited about your new costume. We’ll just leave it there for this week.

Bottomline it for me

• Hide the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups in the freezer
• Don’t stick them in the bowl with everything else
• They’re better cold
• How do you think “a guy wearing pants” is a costume?

Okay, that’s it. I’m not gonna get all mushy.

See ya’ ~ Kevin

p.s. Website? Uh, lemme see. I musta left around here somewhere. And the “socials” – sure, come to Facebook… if you dare.